1.
Respect
His Plans and Schedule By Communicating
Boys need training and communication about your schedule and
plans. We all can get a little testy when
some new thing is sprung on us, don't we? “We’re
going to the store! Get on your
shoes!” Some kids might do just fine…but
others… maybe they just got their lego town all set up, or they were planning
to play outside next. Massive meltdown
ensues… Its worth it to learn to communicate well with your boys (& girls) and they will learn, from your example, a life skill that will benefit them their whole life.
Why communicate?
1. Communication usually increases cooperation.
“Hey, guys! We are
going to go get groceries when the timer goes off. We aren’t going to buy any toys or candy, but
at walmart we can get a cookie if the lady is there with the stickers. How does that sound?”
C2. Communication can pull their mind forward and give them a sense of next.
Our Heath went thru a phase where he hated rest time…one day
I said, “After your nap you’re going to feel really happy and we’re going to go
outside…” It was like a hook that pulled
him forward to the next happy feeling past his distress about leaving all the
action of the older kids. (I'll remember to use that tool again!)
3. Communication feels very respectful - you esteem your
child and their activity enough to explain.
Because you’re an adult you know that getting groceries is crucial to
supper that evening, but all they can see is their Lego plans. Communication can help ease and smooth transitions
in your days.
4. Communication allows you to honor their plans
and schedule by giving them choices as well.
Leaving store: “When
we get home we’re going to have some lunch…would you like peanut butter and
jelly or grilled cheese sandwich?”
“After lunch why don’t we read a couple books before
naptime. What would you like me to read
to you?”
Choices let them
practice Control. Control is a real need
for boys. And that’s good, right? You want them to feel the responsibility to
control themselves and their environment (to some degree) later on in
life. They need practice doing that now,
with your guidance.
Interestingly, even as babies, my boys have been much more
peaceful with a predictable, simple schedule…
2 comments:
some of these tips can definitely work for girls too. I remember several times growing up wondering 'why?' I told Jay the other day that sometimes just knowing the why makes it so much easier to obey. Why can't you have the cookie? because we are headed to Bob Evans and you will be able to get your favorite meal - this kind of scenario is what i am talking about. Not a defiant 'why' but sometimes knowing why helps make it so much easier and communicating this is key.
I have learned this, but still have to remind myself to do it.
One day my children acted terribly in a store and I couldn't figure out why, because they rarely act out when I am shopping. Then, I remembered that I had forgot to remind them of acceptable behavior before we entered.
Not that I have to remind them everytime we go somewhere, but that day they were tired and hungry, so a little reminder would have kept them on the "straight and narrow," even though they were exhausted.
Lack of communication to them, respecting them as human beings that have "plans" too, has often been the reason for bad behavior in our home.
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